I start at the top, with Tatler. Admittedly, Tatler doesn't really give advice. That is not the point of Tatler. The point of Tatler is to float above you, taunting you with your disgusting plebbiness. This month, Tatler says I should go and buy a wow Gold silver lid for my Marmite, and a 14-carat gold bra. This is not so much a "tip", as an incitement to burning down the Condé Nast building, while wearing cheap clothing, no lip gloss and a smile.